What are you scared of?

So I went out tonight to grab some dinner. I noticed a guy and a girl walking. He was walking faster than she was and she caught up to him and grabbed his hand and pulled herself into him as if to say “I want to be close to you”. He pulled her in and let it happen. They walked together now, connected, bound, inseparable. I had this flashback of the last few women I’ve been with. They all did this to me. Wanted me to slow down, be in my world, in step with my thoughts, what are you thinking Reed, share it with me please. I couldn’t. I remember letting them in sometimes, and other times I wanted to fly away and leave them behind. They saw this. They wanted so much for me to love them back, pull them in, embrace them, show them my world and……I couldn’t. I had in each of these women someone who wanted to love me so much and I ran, I flew, I pushed, I escaped. If I could have each of them back right now I would beg for just one night with them in my arms. I’m begging now. Yet I know I would fly away without them when the sun came up only to want them back at the end of the day. To answer your question, “what am I scared of?” Feeling so much love for someone and not knowing how to contain it I guess. Loving me has got to be the hardest thing a woman has ever endured. Hence the reason not a single one will ever talk to me again. I promise so much and never keep my end of the deal.